The Complicated Maze of Teen Friendships

The early teen years were full of normal life activities, insecurities, and a continual search for belonging. I tried hanging out with the "popular" kids. My mom even arranged a birthday party for me at my Aunt Hazel's house. I invited a bunch of them to come....and they did. My aunt had a beautiful home and always welcomed me and my friends. Anyway, they all gave me bracelets....which I didn't wear.....until then. It was at this party that I realized that there were "cliques" of kids and no way "in" unless you followed their unwritten rules.

I found little in common with their goals. Their goals seemed to be to look cool, dress cool, and demonstrate their coolness to others. Plus all of this cost money which I didn't have. But I tried. I went to dances to meet boys--see Joshua's picture below of me dancing with a boy and two other friends (Grandson Joshua recently turned five).

I listened and tried to be a friend, but hanging out with them didn't satisfy my heart's desires or make me that popular. All they wanted to talk about was who was cool, who wasn't, and what it meant to look, dress and act cool. Even then I was looking for something more, for friends who would talk about the rest of life and learning and the world, and how I fit into it all. I didn't know yet that this was a deeper search for the heart of my Heavenly Father.

Gratefully, in the midst of realizing that I didn't fit, I encountered some REAL friends, many with whom I am still friends today. I entered a season of hanging out with these new friends, talking on the phone, sometimes for hours...and having fun together. Here are two pictures from junior high--first of Terry Morris, now Cleary, at my home with me and my mom.

 

This next photo is of my friends, at yet another party at my aunt's house. OK, all you "old" friends, can you find yourself or should I list who I remember??!! I know Patti Boe is first up, then me while I still had two good legs. I see Terry at the end, right after my little sister, but I'm not sure of the rest.

Here's a couple more pics of some good friends. The top one I took in the courtyard of Clark Junior High soon to become Crescenta Valley High School, and the second was in the front yard of my house after a slumber party during ninth grade. Let's see, here are my best guesses--Top photo below: Karen Marvin, Carol Martin, Judy Kraii behind Bonnie Marshall, Patti Boe, Bonnie and Dorothy Witt. Bottom photo below: Bonnie Marshall, Linda Gardner, Carol Martin, me, Patti, Marj, Bonnie and??? How many did I get right?

When we all graduated from Clark Junior High in 1960, the Glendale Public Schools decided to create a new high school for our area. They did this by turning my Junior High into the new Senior High. The new name of the school was to be Crescenta Valley High School or CVHS. Some of the history can be found at this link: Crescenta Valley High School History. They did it gradually, so my grade was always the highest. So in tenth grade there was only one grade--mine! Then another one was added each year until it was 10th-12th grades.

Many other things were going to be new and different starting in 10th grade, things I couldn't yet imagine. During the summer following graduation I was to have surgery on both my legs. My whole life was about to change....radically. A friend recently asked me if I had to choose just three, what would be the major events in my life? While the divorce was big, it was not as big as what was about to happen...my first life-changing and life-defining event, and finding true life-long friends.