A Frugal, Amazing Mom, a Perfect House, and New Friends: The Good Years

             My mother was pretty frugal with money and taught us early how to earn and save money from our allowance. She set a very good example for us. By the time I was 12 she had saved enough money for a down payment on a small two bedroom house.  We looked at many houses, but the one that we all liked was at 3323 Alabama Street in La Crescenta, California. The small backyard also had a small fig tree, but Nancy and I didn't like them as much as mom did. 

           It was like a miracle to have a place of our own. Nancy and I got to share a bedroom while Mom had her own bedroom for the very first time in her life. She bought a washing machine, and we all took turns hanging the clothes out to dry. Nancy and I had a chore list for each day of each week. It was how we earned our allowance. It also taught us responsibility.  We also earned money with good grades. Mom used to pay us $1 for each A we brought home. That was great motivation!

DOROTHY AND NANCY’S CHORE LIST

Today I Will:	M	T	W	TH	F	S	S
Make bed
Brush teeth
Pick up room
Set or clear the table
Wash or dry dishes
Do homework
Practice Music
Be Helpful

        
          Having a house was a real source of stability. We even got a dog, but more about her later. Mom did some amazing things for a single parent back in those days. She made sure we had things that would prepare us for life. She taught us to sew (Nancy and I are both accomplished seamstresses still). She even arranged for us to have piano lessons (Nancy took accordion). Every day we would have to practice one-half hour. That wasn't always fun, but we had a good teacher and I'm so glad I learned to love music through these years--getting to know the piano and great music composers and compositions. Mom also purchased and had installed a tether ball that Nancy and I spent many hours playing in the backyard. My arms got strong punching that ball around the pole!      

         We began to live a fairly normal life--like other kids our age, except without a Dad. We soon got to know kids from the neighborhood and I began doing some babysitting. I remember one family on the corner who had twin girls named Patty and Betty. They always wore the matching outfits except different colors. Patty wore Pink and Betty wore Blue--makes remembering names easy too!   When I left for college, Nancy took over sitting for them. I remember they always had the fridge full of good treats we could eat while there. 

          These were the good years full of friends and family. Aunt Hazel and Uncle Bert were still very active in our lives, providing loving hugs and lots of fun. They cheered us on in every way they could, and of course, cheered our amazing mom on. I wish you could have known my mom. I wish I could have really known her. I only know now how much she truly did for us and gave of herself. She was a gift from God then....and now.

            Below is the floor plan for our house on Alabama St. It was small but seemed huge to us. Mom even added a wooden patio cover roof and left an opening for the light to shine through. She was very proud of it. When Nancy and I visited the place a few years ago, it didn't look any different than 50 years ago--except the yard isn't as beautiful as when Mom had geraniums bordering the whole yard. You can see a photo of the house today on google maps: 
https://www.google.com/maps/@34.2359518,-118.251639,3a,51.2y,13.89h,90.82t/data=!3m4!1e1!3m2!1sEHLsRWPy2kBj-dDSs5k-bg!2e0!6m1!1e1  

            

Choosing the Lesser, Getting the Better Plus The Horrible Shoebox Disaster, the Ten Cent Coke, and the Good Shepherd

Choosing the Lesser, Getting the Better: I recently remembered something that happened in 4th or 5th grade. We were putting on a class play and were asked to choose which part we wanted to play. The teacher had us write out the name of our choice and then she would assign us. I knew I didn't want the lead role and figured all the popular kids would get it. I was right. But it seems that all the girls wanted the lead part and chose that. I was the only one who chose the second important role. When the teacher told the class about it, she pointed out that "Dorothy was the only one to choose the lesser role, and therefore got it." The other girls were all disappointed that they didn't get it, except for the one who did, whose name was Wray. I was glad she got it. I was a little intimidated that I got the role of "Pinky" the girl who helped the lead actress in the play, and a little afraid. I didn't like talking in front of people. It now reminds me of what Jesus said in Luke 9:23-24, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it." I wasn't yet Jesus' disciple, but He was teaching me what it meant to let others have the star role and I take the lesser role.

The Horrible Shoebox Incident: There’s another event that impacted me in my last year of elementary school.  My sixth grade teacher was pretty harsh to everyone and had a shrill voice. I won’t tell you her name. But because my mom worked all day, I came to school early and stayed late. I offered to help my teacher however I could. One day she gave me a shoe box full of jars with different colored stones in them. She told me to clean them all out. I set to work and carefully emptied the stones from each jar in a different pile. I was just going to wash the jars when I heard my teacher yelling my name.

 Art work by Ethan Lin

When she saw what I had done she started yelling at me. She thought I had deliberately disobeyed her. As she had given me no further instructions on how exactly I was to clean it out, I assumed she meant to clean jars and the box. But she only wanted the box cleaned and jars put back in. I didn't even know the box was dirty! I had really wanted to help her, but ended up being more afraid of her than ever. We were both crying. I know now I made a wrong assumption and should have asked for more specific directions. It’s not the last time this kind of thing happened, as you will learn.

However, one good thing from these years, perhaps from her class, is I decided to start writing books. My first book was "All About the Planets." There was one page for each planet along with the sun. There was one picture for each, showing how far each one was from the sun. It was simple and stapled together. Wish I kept it!

Apparently I had this ability to not think through my actions early on. We had occasionally begun going to a Methodist Church. Nancy and I attended Junior Church when Mother went to big Church. I remember one Sunday when I was about 11 or 12. A friend and I snuck out of the building and went to the corner drugstore to get a ten cent coke. We sat and talked and then walked back before church was over. I felt so guilty afterwards, I told my mother…..and never did that again.  
   

      I also remember being impacted by a story at Junior Church. It was a story Jesus told about a shepherd looking for a lamb who got lost. I don’t remember how the story was told, only that I felt God’s Presence draw near again and remind me He loved me even when I messed up or did things wrong. I felt like I was that lost lamb and He reassured me He would always find me whenever I got lost.

"Being So Scared I Froze Up Completely” -- Next Time Yell "Dad"

During this time, when I was probably about 11, my sister and I had a traumatic experience for us. Nancy was about 7 or 8. Mom had gone into a store to get something and we were in a large parking lot, sitting in the back seat of our car waiting for her, when a man we didn’t know came up to our car. He wanted us to roll down our window. We knew that was not a good idea. 

NEVER TALK TO STRANGERS OR 

DO WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO DO!

          Then he exposed himself to us. With my heart racing, --Nancy said she “was so scared I froze up completely,” I grabbed Nancy’s hand, opened the opposite car door from where the man was standing. Holding Nancy’s hand, we both ran as fast as we could toward the store.   

Nancy remembers me yelling “Mom!” at the top of my voice. I don’t remember yelling, just running and holding on to her. I’m not sure what happened after that, but I’m pretty sure the man ran away too. And mom told us next time to yell “Dad” cuz that would scare someone away faster than just “Mom.” Again, we were protected by the Father we did not yet know. 

          Here’s a picture about that time—probably a small birthday party. Nancy is in the front middle smiling and I’m right behind her in the striped dress. Connie, Wray, and Valerie are in the back row with me. Linda and Janie are in front with Nancy. Amazing how childhood friends' names stick.

            

Yikes! I Was Bit by a Snake at Camp: Blue Racer or Side Winder? God Again Spares My Life

The summer after fifth grade, I attended a Camp Fire Girls’ Camp. We slept in cots outside of the tents under the beautiful stars. It was a lot of fun – until one night when a large snake curled up on the end of my sleeping bag. I saw him, knew he was there and was afraid to move. He just stayed there like it was his home. But I was afraid and didn't move for probably an hour. When I did try to get out of the sleeping bag, the snake bit me twice – once on my knee and the other time on the bottom of my foot as I escaped. I cried out and went to find my camp counselor. She didn’t believe me until she saw the snake still on my cot. Then she nearly fell over backwards trying to get away.

After that they tied my leg in a tourniquet and took me to an ER, or whatever the equivalent was back in those days. When we got there, they made cuts at the sites of the bites and tried to drain the blood before taking off the tourniquet. Afterwards they said it was probably a nonpoisonous Blue Racer, but they took extra care in case it was a poisonous one around that area, like a Sidewinder, and because the snake was quite large.

Was it a Blue Racer or a Side Winder? It was too dark for anyone to tell.

          The funny thing is, they never called my mom or told her about it. They bandaged it up and wouldn’t let me swim the rest of the week. When I told my mom on the way home– remember she’s a nurse – she found it all very hard to believe until I showed her the wounds and bandages.

           So, God had again spared my life and was preparing me to trust Him over and over.The outcome could have been much different. God did this many times—spared my life and taught me to trust Him in difficult situations. He did this when I lived in Chicago with my Dad’s abuse and drinking problem. He did in our moves and now He did it with a snake. But I still didn’t know it was Him.

Teacher Lippy Hangs Clothespins on My Ears and Nose, Gives X’s, Y’s, and Z’s, and Tries to Date my Mom

OK, so you probably know there are some unusual teachers out there. Guess that’s always been true. Let me tell you about one of the most attention-grabbing teachers I've ever had. Lippy’s real name was Mr. Lipniski, but he told us to call him Lippy because it was easier to say. He created a “Doodlebug Club” that you could join by getting points for doing good work and good behavior. Everybody wanted to be in that club because of the prizes. He loved his students but was not afraid to give the discipline needed. 

One day in class, a girl friend and I decided to set up a clothes line between our desks. We thought this would be an excellent and quiet way to send notes. To accom­plish this I brought in rope to connect our two desks and then clothespins to hang our messages with. Lippy must have watched our scheme with amuse­ment, and then boldly came to “my” desk, and picked up the clothespins, and hung them on my ears and nose! Totally embarrassing and it hurt. It didn’t take long to learn never to do that again. Today it would probably cause a lawsuit. My third grade twin grandsons, Isaac and Ethan, drew their ideas for what they thought it must have looked like.

Another day, report card day, he passed out everyone’s report cards and let us open them in class. My grades, along with three other outstanding students who normally had excellent grades, were all X’s, Y’s and Z’s! That was a severe blow to the pride of a budding five star learner. Even though he gave out the real report cards before we went home, I never took grades for granted after that.

Lippy also knew we were poor and one day he turned up at our back door with a bag of groceries for us. We were all excited to have some food we wouldn't regularly eat. Then he started asking my mom out on dates. Things changed after that. I don’t know what happened, but the school year ended and we didn’t see him anymore.

My sister’s only memory of early school years was “during art class and we were painting. The teacher thought I had committed some offense (I don't remember what it was), but I hadn't done what she thought and kept telling her so. But she was determined to make me confess and hounded me for days about it. I was quite traumatized over it. Maybe that's why I never liked art to this day! Such an impact these things have on young minds.”

 Last night I had a dream. In the dream I was walking home to our place on Harvard St., with a house key hanging around my neck. When I got to the door of our place, the door was open and it scared me. There was a child (a boy I think) and adult coming out the door. I started to call out loudly in a wobbly voice, “Hello.”  Then I awoke and don't remember anymore. SO, here’s the strange part--in my dream, I actually called aloud a wobbly “Hello” and woke up my sleeping husband! When I woke up I remembered that in fifth grade I could finally walk my sister to school and home again and look after her in our own place. Previously, for two years, we were in a school that had child care and it was pretty chaotic there so my mother was glad when I was old enough to watch my sister at home.  

  During this time, and the years to come, my mother worked for the Pasadena Public Health Department. She had a friend there who had a daughter a little older than me. The woman was quite wealthy and she gave mom all her daughter’s clothes she no longer wanted. These were highly treasured. I remember one skirt that was felt and had a French Poodle on it. the picture below I found online, of course!

Then when I outgrew them, Nancy got them. Treasures in the midst of the journey. We got new clothes once a year--3 dresses at the beginning of the school year from either Robert Hall's or JC Penneys.  Here's a picture of me with my mom. I had on one of my new dresses, and I think I was about ten years old. My mom was very short--only 4'10', and I was almost as tall as her already.  

Being in a Divorced, One Parent Family; Another Scary Encounter; A Boy Named Donald

And so the nomads were moving again. This time my Heavenly Father had guided my mom to a place more protected and less likely to be robbed, at 1133 East Harvard Street in Glendale. There were 8 one story small attached units all in a row with another row of carports at the end (we saw a tarantula there once). By this time my mom had learned to drive and we had a Plymouth car we named Betsy. Betsy was green with big tail fins.

We were in apartment F--for Fun! Now we were surrounded by families and people who would watch out for us. Yet throughout all our school years, Nancy and I were the only ones, both in and out of school, we knew from a divorced, one parent family. It just was not the norm in those days. Here’s the diagram of the apartments and the rooms inside. The apartments were all the same. Ours is bigger in the diagram just so you can see the layout of each apartment (but you already probably figured that out!). 

The lady in apartment C watched us before and after school for a few years. She was really nice, but had three kids of her own, and like us, all in a one bedroom apartment. One day her son, a year or two older than me, took me to the back of the carport and asked me if I had any “hair” in private places yet. It scared me and I ran home. After that his mom didn’t watch us anymore. We were "on our own" again.

There was a nice house next to our apartments and a boy named Donald lived there. He taught me how to draw cartoon figures. He was really good at it and a good teacher. I was very proud of my drawings of Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck back then. All I can draw now is our puppy named Lillybelle. Can you tell she’s part shihtzu and part chiwawa (and part cute)?

Lillybelle likes to sit on our Wii board.
We call it her Lillypad. She even as her own Mi. :)   

Joshua drew a picture of Lillybelle, but took it home.
This one was drawn by Grandma.

Donald also had a big tree in his backyard. During the summertime we kids would all climb in and sing silly songs. It was a lot of fun. Once we tried to dig a big hole in his yard—big enough to have a clubhouse. But I think we only got it big enough for someone to sit in. It was very impressive though! These were the beginnings of some positive and fun relationships.

Plus I loved my teachers. I went to John Marshall Elementary School. It was only a block or two away so I could walk there and back. Miss Spike, my second grade teacher, was an older teacher and very, very loving. She reminded me of my Grandma with the twinkle in her eyes. It was a fun year. I remember “campaigning” and marching around our playground with dozens of other kids chanting “We want Ike! We want Ike!” And the whole country got him!

I don't remember ever watching television during these years. We played lots of games both inside and out and read lots of library books. I also don't remember homework, though I expect there was some. Life was very different then than it is now. And it was about to get even more different with a teacher named Lippy (short for Mr. Lipniski).

God Can and Does Speak to Children; Nancy Starts Talking; We Get Robbed

A life changing miracle happened while we lived in the little bungalow on Elk Street. One day I was sick and staying home alone by myself. I was sitting on the big bed Nancy and I shared. I began wondering who God was and where he was. I tried to trick Him by planning to think one thing, and then quickly changing my mind to think something else. But I soon realized, even then, that you can't trick God, that He was always one step ahead of me and working for my good. I don’t know how I knew there was a God, but I did. I think we went to church on Christmas and Easter...sometimes.

Maybe it was the experience with the “Sandman” that opened my heart to Him that day. But this time, sitting alone on the bed, I felt His presence draw near and impress on my heart that he loved me and he wanted me to love him and to be a teacher and to love and teach children. It was very powerful, and unusual for me, to know His Presence like that without ever having learned of Him in any formal setting. God can and does speak to children. And His gentleness, especially with children in need, is remarkable.

This encounter has formed the focus for my life ever since. Today to love God and His Son Jesus, and to teach and love children comes from the impartation that came from Father’s heart that day at home alone and sick. In the future when I was a teacher, I would pray for each of my students, that they would have an encounter with Jesus however He wanted to come to them, but to reassure them of His love even when they didn't yet know him.

Meanwhile my mom had many boyfriends during our growing-up years. We well remember one named Scotty who had a car he prized and wouldn't let us touch it. Mom took a photo of us in front of it. And now you can see it—but NOT touch! You can also see Nancy and I in front of the school where Nancy went. I remember going with Mom to pick her up from day care. She is too, too cute!!! Plus she got Daddy’s red hair that you can't see in this black and white picture.




She was very hard not to love, even when things were not going well. But one challenge was that Nancy was slow to talk. When she did tried to talk, she pointed to things. I was the only one who could understand her so they would ask me what she said. It was always clear to me. When she was 3 to 3 ½ she started talking so the rest of the world could hear her lovely voice too.

I don't remember how long we lived in the little bungalow, but one night we got robbed of all mom's money and personal stuff too. Mom, Nancy and I all slept through it -- a miracle. I remember the police coming the next day to get my mom’s report. She was pretty concerned. So you can guess another move was coming soon.