A Broken Heart, A Broken Summer: Waiting for Bill from Kathmandu to Oklahoma

From event-filled England we traveled across the ocean to Norman, Oklahoma on July 27th, 1976, arriving on the 28th. We were met by Bill’s parents who were there at SIL helping process new candidates (Bill's Dad, Otis, was the candidate secretary for Wycliffe at that time). His mom was great with the kids and we were surrounded by loving Wycliffe people. We stayed in the dorms there for the next couple weeks, til they closed down. I knew that many were praying for us. Still I felt pretty exposed and vulnerable during those weeks, and alone without Bill, but grateful for praying people, and always aware of His faithfulness.

Note: We had no contact with Bill for over three and a half weeks from the time we left Nepal, until we got a call about his imminent arrival. No letters, calls, or any form of communication. Remember, this was in the Dark Ages before the Internet, so no Skype or Facebook or email; and international calls were not only iffy but the expense was prohibitive.

July 29 from Norman, Oklahoma: “Hurting so bad this morning. My thots are in tears. I don’t understand the tears, or much of anything. I do KNOW a deep sure peace in my heart, directly from Him who keeps my heart and mind: all mixed with pain, burdens and love. In numbness, Lord, I come to you for blessing and encouragement and whatever….What a privilege to be numb with grief, yet abounding with joy.

Here the Lord said to me: “My words are sweet, child, as honeycomb. Eat them and live. They will be your nourishment. They will be your source of strength and growth and youth. Dwell in Me as I dwell in you and I will make our hearts rejoice together: sorrow turned to joy. I know your pain. I’ve known pain so great I sweat drops of blood—the pain of separation. Yes, child, I know it hurts. Take heart that it’s part of MY pruning and prelude to full resurrection, joy unbounded and oneness with the Father to do His will."

July 30: “So tired. Dreaming of being in the village….a large river coming….waves are hitting now, and drenching me, but not pulling down. Cover me, Lord.”

August 1: “A good talk with Dow, open sharing of what happened and the grief of heart. The Friday night meeting was good. Dow prayed for release and I found myself uncontrollably sobbing in front of everyone, but also found release and healing and a new beginning. It’s His work and I will trust Him…..Saturday Dad and mom left. They are simply beautiful people.”

August 4: Ken Pike spoke in chapel about “the people from Nepal who are hurting” – to believe His creativity and plan in this all—a new beginning—not just a good ending. While he was talking the Lord showed me more of His pain in Gethsemane—knowing He was leaving His disciples and leaving them without power. He was just beginning to see His love working out in them—and then they are cut off. And so it is with our life. I can see it for the Tharus. It naturally seems we should stay. But it is God working and He always brings life from death.

August 6: I took Jon and Jenny to a park yesterday morning. Jon fell from a slide and lost his breath and turned white and then cried and cried. I again committed him to the Lord and he was fine. We’re not avoiding accidents but god is healing us all up. Tis mercy all, immense and free.

But I’m missing Bill so much—longing for the hour of his return. Activities at SIL have slowed down—everything but Jon and Jenny, these 2 precious gifts. We all need Daddy, our head in Christ.

August 9: Still no Bill, but it’s good to be here in Jim and Penny’s lovely home. Jon and Jenny seem more settled here than in the dorms. I woke up praying this morning, giving Him the concern of my heart for Bill. Really thought he’d be here by now.
The kids have settled down here. They’ve really enjoyed being on this “farm” with goats, chickens, rabbits, dogs, cats, and this morning had a horse ride and played with a calf. Great Fun!

The church in Norman gave us $300—a real surprise and gift of love. Overwhelming—all their love has been, His lovely body. He is glorified there.

August 12: Still no Bill or letter and some wild dreams. Jenny dreamed that she and daddy were in 2 rocket ships and Daddy’s crashed (and he died) and hers didn’t. Ethan did this picture and said there was a meteor crashing into Daddy's rocket. J is for Jenny's and D is for Daddy's rocket.

I dreamed that Bill and Dave Watters were fighting deadly snakes. Jon dreamed he and I were being captured by pirates. I think the enemy’s trying to discourage in so many ways.

I keep needing to re-commit my thots, especially when I wake in the middle of the night and start churning the possibilities of Bill’s whereabouts. It’s like I’m not married anymore. But I just trust the Lord to work His work in us at this time. I have a tremendous burden in praying for all those still there in Nepal working. His work is building the kingdom. The Lord said, “All this is good preparation for what is to come. If you can’t trust Me now, you won’t be able to later. Relax and put your hand in Mine and I will act.”

August 16: That day a phone call and the next day Bill arrived! We’re all rejoicing to be together again. The airlines lost his suitcase, but the rest of his trip was OK. We’ve just been relaxing, eating, sleeping, reading, and being thankful. God is so good, hallelujah.

[From an August 14 letter to Bill’s parents, from me] We expect to arrive in California around the 30th and would like to stay with you a day or two while we try to find a house to rent-- a 2 bedroom house in Santa Ana. Jon’s been accepted for 1st grade at Calvary’s church school and Bill wants to settle in the area for sure.

[Later that day from Bill] Hi ! My turn. It’s good to be back and will be even nicer to see you. Just to clarify the housing situation: what we’re looking for is a 2 bedroom house with a yard. But mainly right now we want to know what might be available. We’d like a place with a bit of a yard for the kids’ sake. We’re planning to arrive in Santa Ana on about the 30th or 31st depending on exact schedule and carrier. Will let you know more definitely later. Well, we’re looking forward very much to seeing you all. Love, Bill & Dotty.

At last we were all together in one place….on our way to California and then what? Bill Gothard talks about Death To A Vision. This certainly was our first one. Our whole world was just turned upside down and we didn’t know what it would look like when it turned right side up, just that He would be there, holding us, and keeping us in the center of His love-care and provision.

Below is a copy of our letter to friends and supporters after this eventful change in our lives.

 

The concluding picture is six year old Joshua's drawing of Bill returning on the plane and us welcoming him with open arms. He said my feet aren't touching the ground because I was jumping up and down I was so excited to see him!

6 Eventful Days: Kathmandu to Delhi to Oxford, England

The following was written from Oxford, England, while staying in the home of Ron and Sue Trudinger. Yes, this all really happened. I marvel at God’s faithfulness to each of us. You also may want to know that health care was free for us in England, so all that you are about to read cost us nothing ... except time for us and dear Sue Trudinger ... and gas to the hospitals.

July 23, 1976: It seems like a month since we left Nepal a few days ago. It was a good departure (July 20, 1976). I kept the tears til I got in the inspection booth—numb with pain by the time we boarded the plane. Nancy (Watters) too. We were silent companions, sharing together in His suffering, death and resurrection.

New Delhi was hot and the Diplomat hotel really took us and tried to way overcharge us. It was a bad night’s sleep too as I was afraid of missing the alarm and the plane.

We had good plane trips all the way, but a thorough investigation by passport and customs officials. I got singled out and they went through our suitcases. Finally it hit me and I asked with unbelief, “Are you looking for narcotics?” Indeed they were. It really kind of shook me when they said yes, especially after the long flight. I was so glad to see Sue waiting for us. She took us home and we all went to bed early.

I woke up at 3 a.m. and tried to find the bathroom but I missed the hall, tried to walk the stairway and fell and crashed into the opposite window ledge, crushing my rib cage. I felt sure they were broken. So much pain. I spent the next day at the hospital with X-rays and all they found was severe bruising (later I learned they were cracked, not broken). I can’t move too well, but feel healing is progressing too fast to be human. 

Then this morning Jon was on one of their scooters and ran into their parked car, smashing into the top layer of teeth. When I got home at 4, his whole face was grossly swollen and already black and blue. So back to the hospital we went for X-rays and doctors and today a dental surgeon who says the teeth will soon turn black and fall out and the permanent teeth will probably be damaged and need later care (all of this was true later in Jonathan’s life). Nothing else can be done at this point. It hurts so to see him looking like he does and makes me a more tender parent anyway. Lord, for your healing I ask.

It seems like we almost lost our covering when we left Bill in Nepal. But we haven’t lost Jesus and I am casting my cares on Him. Help me, Lord. Ps. 93.

July 26: We’re a complete family. Jenny fell on a window ledge and banged her forehead now with a large black and blue lump. Jon came down with bronchitis and I’ve got him on penicillin tablets (I brought extra meds we had left over in Nepal). I couldn’t bring myself to ask Sue to take us to a doctor again. Jon is still black and blue, but the swelling is down. My chest still hurts, but is definitely on the mend.

We had good visits from both Molly Heath and dear friend Julie. (Both these ladies spent time with us in the village.) Blessed times of fellowship. We also had a good afternoon visit with Dr. Martin Gray, out walking in the English countryside, really lovely.

The service yesterday at church broke me down to tears—so many mixed emotions, such a heavy hurting burden and the Lord spoke over the confusion from Jacob’s life and the wrestling and broken ribs instead of thigh and the promise to us and me from Genesis 28:14-15. The Lord’s goodness is all over and yet I am so very tired.

This promise in Genesis 28:14-15 God has fulfilled through several visits back to Nepal, and by surrounding us with Nepali friends wherever we have lived: Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring. I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.

So many memories flooded our hearts and minds in the days following our departure, as in the pictures below. The drawing in the middle is of a Tharu woman. How grateful I am for how Father has cared for us and blessed us in so many ways at so many times.