Surrounded by Committed Friends: Survival During the Dissertation Years

“Surrounded by committed friends” is how I would describe our final three years in Lexington. Let me describe them now. May you who read this be blessed with friends such as I have had.

After leaving teaching and the children whom I loved so much, I, with the help and support of my husband and family, jumped into a doctoral program that was both frightening and full of God’s grace. The most frightening part was statistics. God’s grace came in the person of good friend Mary Fleming, PhD in statistics, who tutored and helped me learn--and actually get an A in all those courses. But, of course, today all I can do is use it to understand stats that I read and not actually do them. Back then, we did a lot the old fashioned way with paper and pencil and sometimes plain old calculators. We also used SPSS and Excel to figure means and standard deviations and produce correlations with charts and graphs.

The most fun part was all the courses I got to take in children’s literature with Anne McConnell who had served on both Newbery and Caledcott committees. I gained a new love of children's books through her courses. Then as a grad assistant over the years, I got to teach a few courses and make sure the reading clinic ran smoothly. Barb Stinnett became another good friend during these days as we worked together in courses and in clinic and as she helped me code the children's responses for inter-rater reliability for the dissertation.

Being an eager beaver, I finished all my courses and what I thought was a good dissertation in two years. I did something rather unusual too. I decided I wanted to have co-chairs of my committee to draw on the expertise of two amazing people well recognized in their professions: Dr. Connie Bridge and Dr. Linda Levstik. When I presented the dissertation to the committee, including Dr. Peter Winograd, they very kindly told me that it needed a lot of work, and to plan another year. My heart sank, but I yielded to this new turn in the road.

I worked hard at revising all five chapters. Every time I revised a chapter, I gave it to each of the co-directors of the dissertation (and to the other committee members when I needed their input). They reviewed it, made their comments, and returned to me to make changes. UNFORTUNATELY, they each had different advice for what needed to be changed. So I would change something that would satisfy one, but not the other.

FORTUNATELY after many rewrites, my chairs realized we needed to meet together to discuss changes. During this time, I was learning to become a good writer (writing for academia is very different than all the narrative work I had previously written and published). BUT during one meeting, unexpectedly one of them (FORTUNATELY I don't remember which one) asked me, “Who helped you rewrite this? It’s too good to be yours.” I broke down in tears and told them that I wrote it. But it felt close to being charged with fraud. Besides, by this time my dear husband and friends were getting tired of hearing about this ongoing writing project.

Here’s where the "friend that sticks closer than a brother" part plays the all important role. During our first years in Lexington, I had joined a faithful group of ladies who were meeting weekly to pray for Paul and Rebecca Petrie (as I mentioned in a previous blog post, they had moved to Brussels). Now, during this difficult time in my journey, they graciously began to pray earnestly for me too. I felt so very humbled. Below is a photo of them at my graduation party: Patricia, Judy and Catherine.

So what does it mean to be a friend? DEAR, dear friend Catherine began not just to pray, but to take time off from her own work to walk the halls of UK outside my committee meeting rooms to pray for me on site. She wrote her prayers out, and I still have and treasure them. She laid down her life for me in a way I'd never before experienced. I wrote that she "was a stabilizing influence that cannot be measured in human terms." Very soon after this, God began to turn things around and I made progress and could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

But there was still the defense of the dissertation that loomed on the horizon. Of course, I knew both Bill and Catherine would be there praying. The morning of the defense as I was praying, I asked God for 5 smooth stones, like David had, to slay the giant named Dissertation. And He quietly said, “This is not the giant. It is only the bear you got to practice on.” I knew then that He had prepared me well and I had a wonderful discussion with my committee during the defense. Soon after this, I was walking down the aisle in cap and gown to receive my diploma.

For those of you interested in the research (otherwise, jump to the next paragraph!), my dissertation examined children’s responses to three types of text during peer group discussions. I read three different stories (fiction, non-fiction and informational storybook) to classes in grades 1, 3, and 5. I recorded their peer group conversations at three different points, transcribed them, and then analyzed each of the thousands of comments in six different ways. You really don’t want to know the details! But, it yielded published articles in three highly-recognized peer-reviewed journals of literacy. If you do want to know more, just ask; I’ll send you the links!

The day of graduation was full of fun and a party at our house. Here are some of the key players celebrating with me. From left (include my two chairs who didn't give up on me): Dr. Connie Bridge, friend Melinda, Dr. Linda Levstik, me, and in front is friend Barb Stinnett. Jonathan supervised the yummies and we all enjoyed the cake.

When all was said and done, Bill surprised me with a big party where everyone was asked to bring the ugliest earrings they could find. Here are a few samples.

 

  

I am so grateful to God for the time spent at the University of Kentucky, for the multitudes of people who helped in so many ways. Without the cheerleaders of husband, kids, friends, and pastor Dow Robinson, I would have lost courage. The dissertation itself was dedicated "to the children, whom I carry on my heart." Here's the diploma that my husband had engraved in wood for me.

Many other events were woven into these years ... all records of God's goodness and faithfulness above all else. Jesus is my Friend that has never let me go, who still holds it all together by the Word of His Power. Here's one of my favorite songs -- Above All by Michael W. Smith

Above all powers
Above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

Above all kingdoms
Above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure what you're worth

Crucified
Laid behind the stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all

Above all powers
Above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

Above all kingdoms
Above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way.....